How to make a delicious Italian recipe while rubbing your nose in my fantastic lifestyle

By broadsheet cookery writer Donna Sheridan

AS a food writer I like to think I’m not just passing on great recipes that are ‘doable’ for the reader, but also giving them a glimpse of my fantastic life that contrasts painfully with your own dire existence.

In this column I’ll be explaining a simple but delicious Italian dish, while tossing in the odd aside like the fact that we have a boathouse.

My lamb thing is a real family favourite and my son Alfie always insists on it when he’s down from Oxford, where he is at university. Oxford University. Really it’s just folded-over pizza, but it’s nicer than those Dr Oetker frozen bread discs you’re always buying from the corner shop.

It’s just as good for a proper dinner party, so you needn’t feel embarrassed serving it when your husband invites over colleagues from the successful company he’s in charge of.

Lamb Thing

Minced free-range lamb (get your butcher to give you a discount for being slightly famous)

Some other stuff like pickled courgette flowers that you won’t have or even be able to recognise in a shop

Start by making the dough. You’ll need plenty of space, so I find it’s best to have a kitchen that is bigger than your flat.

Next fry the mince with onion and add rosemary and chilli flakes. (I won’t bother to explain the rest of the recipe because I know you never cook.)

If there’s any left over – which there usually isn’t – I just keep it for a midnight snack in my massive but tasteful German fridge that you can only dream of. 

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Educated women unable to find men despite willingness to accept some twattish qualities

INTELLIGENT young women are struggling to find partners despite being open to men who are sometimes a bit twattish.

As it emerged that many degree-educated females are now freezing their eggs, woman confirmed that they are not even that fussy.

29-year-old graduate Mary Fisher said: “We don’t even expect that much. I could handle a bloke who, while having some good qualities, is still occasionally a bit of a twat about things like who drives the hire car on holiday.

“The problem is that most of them are total twats, as evidenced by my dating apps full of men who like ‘the gym and protein drinks’, ‘fit birds with slamming bods’ and ‘banging tunes’.”

32-year-old account executive Susan Traherne said: “I’m really not mega picky. I’d probably go out with Eamonn Holmes if he was single, or whoever currently plays Compo in Last of the Summer Wine.

“I just want a man who doesn’t own more toiletries than me while also being weirdly aggressive. Ideally he will have read at least one book voluntarily, even if it’s just about soldiers.”