Brian Eno Christmas album tipped for number 126
Experimental musician unveils four-hour long Christmas concept including Rudolf the Red-Nosed Rhombus and Here Come The Warm Pies.
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Kids wait in car with pop and crisps while parents get pissed in mate’s garden
The government’s lockdown sex rules, explained
Five food cupboard staples you can’t eat yourself to sleep without
The science behind easing lockdown explained, by a doctor out of his mind on ketamine
‘Today you’ll be learning what a two-day hangover looks like,’ says teacher
Have you got a tragic, life-endangering obsession with Ikea?
The smug bastard’s guide to sending greetings cards
School weird and frightening and also still shit, reports six-year-old
‘I lost my job because of coronavirus’, says man fired for sexual harassment and daytime drinking
How to pretend you used the last ten weeks for something useful
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