Commodore 64 is fat and bitter at 30

Faded 8-bit machine claims computer industry ‘all about politics and who you know’.



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Why is everyone so mean to that poor Chinese swimmer?

Dear Holly,

Why is everyone so mean to that poor Chinese swimmer who may or may not have cheated a tiny wee bit?


Dear Alice,

Unfortunately, there will always be people who attempt to cheat their way to the top. There are cheats who  get their parents to do their homework, like Olivia Peacock who insisted she was responsible for some deeply moving poem about post natal depression; cheats like Sally Summers, who peek during hide and seek and find you immediately, even though your hiding place under the bed with all daddy’s special magazines was a perfect hiding place; and cheats like Oliver French, who ate sixteen sherbert Dip Dabs just before the sack race and manage to complete it in only 3.7 seconds. Yes, cheating might mean you come out on top, but do you feel good inside? No. Especially when you’re rubbing savlon on your extensive friction burns whilst weeping with despair as the sugar come-down does its worst.

Hope that helps!