OLYMPIC athletes will be required to consume McDonalds food while competing, it has emerged.
The lard ass mascots will be cheering the brave eaters
The fast food giant sponsor has stipulated that participants must ‘eat and compete’, which means consuming at least three burger meals during their events.
On a practical level, this mean swimmers will have specially waterproofed Big Macs inserted into their mouths at the end of each lap, while in relay events the baton will be replaced by a McChicken Sandwich.
Sprinters, meanwhile, will be expected to run while carrying a food-laden plastic tray and face disqualification if they spill their Fanta.
London 2012 boss Lord Coe said: The Olympics is all about challenge, and what bigger challenge than throwing a javelin while chewing a mouthful of fries?
And I’m sure our 100 metre sprinters will be spurred on to further greatness by the thought of a delicious Twix McFlurry waiting for them at the finishing line.
Shot putter Roy Hobbs said: I just want to know whether the ‘eat and compete’ plans include desserts because if each athlete has to wait for their Apple Pie to cool down it could make for some seriously long days.
McDonalds has confirmed that competitors in the shooting and archery events will be provided with an ample supply of napkins, to avoid greasy finger-related deaths.