News Graphic


Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Transplants from poor people to dogs 'a reality'

HUMAN organs can now be used to keep beloved pets alive, vets have claimed.

Surgeons have successfully transplanted the heart of genetically-modified 38 year-old vagrant Wayne Hayes into Tizer, a 12-year-old female labrador with a warm personality.

Experimental vet, Martin Bishop, said: “The procedure could extend Tizer’s life span by as much as six months, which is three-and-a-half years in dog terms.

“She’s quite an elderly dog but you can see the gleam has really come back to her coat and nose.”

He added: “Some find the idea of their pet’s vital organs being replaced by those of a homeless person objectionable, on moral or religious grounds.

“Personally I think if we can keep dogs and cats alive longer then it’s a small price to pay.”

Bill McKay, whose remains are currently in an open skip waiting for an opportunistic kebab shop owner, had been injected with terrier DNA to shrink his organs to a more dog-like size.

Animal lover Nikki Hollis said: “It’s certainly altered my perception of the homeless from socially-useless junkies to valuable potential host organisms for cat kidneys.”