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Explosion is new film hero

AN explosion is the central character of forthcoming action/superhero film Avengers Assemble, it has emerged.

In the Marvel comic-based film, Explosion is a former cop who is hit by an alien comet, turning him into a teleporting explosion.

Avengers Assemble director Joss Whedon explained the rationale behind the new character.

He said: “The Explosion is just motivated by exploding. We don’t really know why. Something about his dead wife, probably.”

“But we do know that audiences like to look at things that, well, explode. Or to put it another way, blow up.”

Whedon added: “Action blockbusters are basically gilded explosions, with lots of complicated ‘story’ padding and tedious character development before anything actually blows up.

“By creating a being who is an explosion, we’ve basically got one long money shot. Everywhere he goes, everything goes bang.”

Test audience member Stephen Malley said: “The screen is just a rectangle of flame, with periodic glimpses of Scarlett Johansson’s cleavage.

“It’s like a trailer that last 90 minutes.

“Two thumbs up. Finally a film that gets it.”