Bastard orders large glass of wine on your round

A PISS-TAKING bastard of a mate will always order a large glass of white wine when it is your turn to get a round in, he has confirmed.

James Bates likes to upset the delicate economic balance of buying a round by waiting until it is your turn to pay to order a 250ml glass of Chardonnay Viognier that costs £9.20.

Bates said: “Rounds are the most straightforward way to purchase drinks for a large group of people, so I don’t really see what the problem is here.

“Yes, when it’s my turn to cough up, I go for half a lager or some tap water. That’s what I feel like drinking at that moment in time.

“It just so happens that when you’re footing the bill I get overcome with a perishing thirst and the desire to try something a bit more upmarket. You can’t seriously be angry with me for that.”

Speaking to the barman, Bates added: “Can I add some food to that order as well? Yeah, three courses, why not, let’s push the boat out. Just make sure they’re all billed to this round, otherwise it gets confusing.”

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