A FATHER has treated his children to a half-term educational visit to one of Cambridgeshire’s best-kept beer gardens.
Joseph Turner, aged 42, has taken his sons on a special day out to a country pub where they will learn how to carry a round, the benefits of setting up a tab, and which snacks go with which beer.
He said: “It’s a lovely old day so I thought I’d combine sunshine with learning. They’ll need to know this stuff when they’re older.
“A trip to the pub is much more beneficial for kids than a farm or another sodding National Trust. Here they’ll pick up life skills like avoiding drunks, jostling to the front of a crowded bar and never overpaying for a guest IPA.
“If they’re well-behaved I’ll even demonstrate the effect of alcohol consumption on my speech and physical coordination. That’s more valuable than some bollocks about George III and rood screens.
“They can have as much lemonade as they want, mix with other kids on the bouncy castle the landlord’s put up to give blokes like me an excuse, and it’s Domino’s for tea. Tell me that doesn’t beat a bronze age village or whatever the f**k.”
Nine-year-old son Tom said: “It’s brilliant. I’ve begged dad to bring us back next weekend and he seems really up for it.”
