Guardian readers disgusted by their men-only pub night

A GROUP of male Guardian readers have been wracked with guilt after realising their evening in the pub was a sexist, men-only event.

Tom Logan and three friends thoughtlessly excluded women and the #MeToo moment from their visit to the White Lion pub yesterday, and feel they may even have harassed female customers with their presence.

Geography teacher Logan said: “We went for a few pints and a burger without even considering the glaring gender imbalance. That’s just typical of an oppressive patriarchy like us.

“Half the world’s population was completely unable to make its voice heard on the guest ales.

“The one woman who was there – the barmaid – we absolutely failed to treat as an equal. Nobody enquired about the pay gap and her emotional labour went painfully uncompensated.

“There haven’t been any press reports about our sickening male arrogance yet, but I’m drafting my full apology now.”

Logan has now cancelled a Friday trip to the Black Bear Inn after failing to get an equal number of women to attend, disappointing friend Eleanor Shaw who was definitely up for a pint.

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Gap year teaches man lots of things everyone already knows

A 22-YEAR-OLD has returned from a gap year full of priceless first-hand knowledge that is only available to others via Wikipedia. 

Julian Cook’s travels in India, Thailand and Australia have given him incredible insights which he is sharing with those who only knew about it from TV, the internet, books and common sense.

He said: “Mumbai blew my mind. You couldn’t possibly imagine how crowded it is, and in the middle of the worst slums there are people earning pennies to make goods for the West. Isn’t that incredible?

“On the other hand you’ve got all these amazing palaces and modern skyscrapers. It’s difficult to put into words, but I suppose you’d call it a ‘city of opposites’.

“Thailand was another eye-opener. You see these incredibly beautiful ladies in the clubs, but – and I warn you, this is almost impossible to believe – they’re actually guys. Seriously.

“Australia’s more like Britain but it’s hotter and they have these beach parties that wouldn’t be practical in, say, Plymouth. Also they’re quite into outdoor cooking on grills.

“I’ve learned so much I’m going to write up my journal into a book. People need to know.”