Saturday, 4th April 2020

Man seductively orders second cheapest bottle of wine at restaurant

A MAN has attempted to impress his date by ordering a bottle of wine from one place above the bottom of a restaurant’s wine list. 

Martin Bishop was convinced his date Eleanor Shaw would immediately fall for his charms, after he proved himself a sophisticated man who knows there is more to wine than ‘red’, ‘white’ and ‘pink’.

Bishop said: “Women like blokes who know about wine, so I knew I’d be onto a winner if I didn’t just immediately go for the sort of bog standard fiver bottle I shove in the trolley at Asda.

“I’d already impressed her with a box of Thorntons Continental rather than Dairy Box, so really this was the icing on the cake.

“Weirdly she didn’t actually want to have sex with me at the end of the date, but perhaps she was intimidated by my worldly ways. There is such a thing as being too classy.”

Shaw said: “Despite the fact that Martin spent a whole three extra quid on the wine, it still tasted vile and couldn’t stop him from being a total creep.

“Shame. If he’d gone for two bottles of the cheapest he might have been in with a chance.”