SCHOOL-LEAVERS disappointed their prom has been cancelled are to hold their own by getting hammered on cider in a field.
16-year-olds who have been denied their formal farewell to their education have agreed that they will not let the occasion go unmarked and will instead get booze in and neck it outside.
Charlotte Phelps said: “The prom is an age-old British tradition we nicked off America at some point in the 00s, and it’s a tragedy ours has been cancelled due to the Covid.
“So, rather than miss out, we’re holding our own. Instead of a red carpet there’s a muddy path lined with empty cans, and instead of a lavishly-decorated dancefloor Ryan and Jordan have built a bonfire out of pallets.
“We’ll dance, kiss, trade memories, and humiliate social misfits but this year we’ll do it beneath the stars, on the edge of a flooded quarry with rusty cars in it, drunk on youth and El Bandido tequila beer from Aldi.
“I’m sure the row when I make out with Jack and Ryan sees us will blaze just as brightly in the open-air, as will the bit where I hold Georgia’s hair while she’s sick in a hedge.”
Father Simon Phelps said: “Ah, a return to the true prom as when I was a young man. I pissed myself at mine.”