SUPERMARKET wine aisles are currently covered with the same ‘Back to School’ promotional displays as aisles selling pencil cases and backpacks.
Retailers are labelling their stocks of alcohol with cartoons of children in uniform to encourage parents to stock up on essential supplies for that joyful day they are no longer burdened with bored, resentful offspring.
Mum-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “This is my favourite part of the holidays. The thrill of anticipation, picking out the Malbecs and Sauvignon Blancs ready for September.
“It’s a bit silly really, it’s not like I’ve finished off all the wine I’ve got at home. But there’s something about these rows of shiny new bottles that’s impossible to resist. I like to lay them out on my bed before the new term starts and admire them.”
Year nine teacher Donna Sherridan said: “It’s so cute when we all skip into school on the first day back, our bags clinking with half a dozen bottles of Merlot.
“But despite everyone’s best intentions, the pristine bottles never last. By the first morning break they’re all cracked open and necked in the staff room, then it’s a case of bunking off to M&S at lunch to top up.”
