Sunday, 9th August 2020

Woman puts Threshers-worth of wine bottles in recycling bin

A WOMAN has emptied enough wine bottles to fill a Threshers into her recycling bin.

In what has become a weekly event, Donna Sheridan is noisily filling up her recycling bin with dozens of bottles of Blossom Hill, Jacob’s Creek and Echo Falls.

A bleary-eyed Sheridan said: “Back when things were normal I’d worry the bin men would judge me for going through a couple of bottles of sauvignon blanc a week. But those days of self-restraint are long gone.

“At first I tried to camouflage my love of getting hammered by sneaking some of the evidence into the neighbours’ recycling bin. But now theirs is filled with enough beer cans to be recycled into a Boeing 747.

“So I’m tipping an industrial amount of plonk bottles into the grey bin. The ear-splitting noise is my way of applauding the brave cashiers at the off licence who serve me delicious wine every few days.”

Waste collector Wayne Hayes said: “We lose a lot of good men and women every week as they get infected doing your recycling. But you’ve got to explore New World wines.”