LET’S face it, most universally acclaimed works of art could have been done by you after a lengthy session in the pub. Here are 16 you could easily crank out after six pints.
Starry Night by Van Gogh
Blue swirl. Yellow swirl. Rinse, repeat. No need to cut your ear off over it, Vince.
Frida Kahlo’s self-portraits
You’ve been drawing moustaches and monobrows on pictures of politicians in the paper for years, so this is no challenge at all.
The Weeping Woman by Picasso
Cubist portraits are lemon peasy to bosh out when you’ve had a few. You don’t even have to get the eyes in the right place.
Girl With a Pearl Earring by Vermeer
Vermeer was shite at drawing. Case in point, he obviously f**ked up the hair so had to artfully place an IKEA bag over it.
The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali
Dali struggled with circles so he made the clocks look melted. You’d do the same after several Jägerbombs.
Venus de Milo by Alexandros of Antioch
Hands are the hardest bit, so no wonder the sculptor left them off. Piece of piss.
The Son of Man by Rene Magritte
If you can’t draw noses just stick an apple in front of their face. Classic shortcut from an artist as lazy and talentless as the rest of us.
The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch
Doodling a bunch of naked freaks getting off with each other? What is this, a pub toilet cubicle?
Impression, Sunrise by Claude Monet
Blobs that only look good far away. God knows how Claude got away with it, but you could do it too.
The Kiss by Gustav Klimt
Big shapeless lump with two faces. Just like your ex. Anyway, slap some gold leaf on anything and people are impressed.
The Great Wave by Hokusai
The frothy bits look tricky, until you find out it’s a woodcut. Any old bastard can use a stamp.
Nighthawks by Edward Hopper
There’s f**k all going on in this picture. Try drawing a city centre Wetherspoons at 11pm on a Saturday night. That would require real attention to detail.
Whistler’s Mother by James McNeill Whistler
Easy for the artist, even easier for his mum, who could watch Emmerdale while she was posing. He clearly couldn’t be arsed to draw her doing anything complicated, like playing Twister.
Grey Lines with Black, Blue and Yellow by Georgia O’Keefe
Vulvas are famously straightforward. They all look the same. Try a circumcised micro-penis with a Prince Albert next time, Georgia.
Number 1 by Jackson Pollock
You can do this by accident just by putting a pen with a loose lid in your handbag and running for a bus.
The Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci
Anyone who’s read Dan Brown could knock this out in under an hour. Once you’ve got the Jesus/Mary Magdalene womb bit in, it’s just some self-important blokes having a chat. In fact, the pub will be good inspiration for your efforts.
