Ageing raver takes book to nightclub

A 40-YEAR-OLD man has taken a paperback book with him to a rave.

Plumber Tom Booker wanted to go to a massive club to hear his favourite deep house and techno DJs, while also having something to read for when he got a bit tired.

He said: “I steadfastly refuse to give up on raving, even though nowadays I find it quite exhausting to stand up for long periods, let alone dance.

“So last week I brought along Peter Ackroyd’s London – A Biography.  It’s very well researched although a bit heavy to carry around until 5am.

“I rave for a bit, then I read for a bit, then I rave a bit more. It’s nice.”

19-year-old clubber Nikki Hollis said: “I saw this old guy sat down by the bass bins reading a book.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen someone reading at a rave and the second time I’ve seen a book.”

Booker added: “Actually it’s quite hard reading in a club because it’s quite dark and the bass makes your eyeballs vibrate. Or maybe I just need glasses now.

“It’s good though. I think reading is the future of raving.”

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Cameron visit better than a British passport, says refugee

A SYRIAN refugee visited by David Cameron has confirmed that she would never exchange that experience for British citizenship. 

Asala Zedan, who lives with her three children in a tent in the desert a mile outside a war zone, said that meeting the UK’s prime minister was worth more than any change in living conditions. 

She said: “Sadly I could not understand a word he said and he left the moment the photographers were finished, but nonetheless it is so good to know that he cares. 

“Those precious minutes, as he sat uncomfortably on the floor while Special Branch threatened to shoot anyone who approached the tent, are more important to me than a thousand homes in Wolverhampton where my children could grow up without daily shelling. 

“Germany may take in 800,000 of my people, but has their leader flown here for a 60-second clip released free to news agencies? I think not.”

Zedan added: “Mr Cameron also took the time to warn me about a man called Jeram al-Corbin, who he says is a dangerous extremist who threatens the country’s security, economic security and my family’s security. 

“I told him I have first-hand experience of such people, and offered my sympathies.”