Banksy voted the worst chocolate box bullshit

AN ARTWORK by Banksy has been voted the worst kind of bullshit that your middle-class auntie has on coasters. 

Banksy’s artwork Balloon Girl, illegally stencilled on a wall in rundown East London in 2002, has within 15 years become the preferred artwork of women who say ‘Oh, sugar drops’ instead of swearing.

Art critic Eleanor Shaw said: “Banksy’s been on a remarkable journey from urban guerilla operating outside the rules to sentimental shite that goes with the Laura Ashley wallpaper in the downstairs loo, but the truth is he was bollocks all along.

“Trite, obvious and painfully twee, Banksy is now the favourite artist of people who don’t like art but sometimes the walls need a bit of cheering up.

“The art world has been exposed as fools. Frankly if Jack Vettriano’s The Singing Butler had been stencilled on dirty walls in rough bits of Bristol we’d have been conned into thinking it edgy as fuck.

“If you have Banksy books or artworks in your home, destroy them before anyone sees. Though you’ll always know now, in your heart, that you’re no better than the rest.”

Your auntie said: “I like that graffitti art. I’ve got a big cock and balls framed over the sofa.”

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Government backs 'North London Powerhouse'

THE government has given its backing to the multi-million pound ‘North London Powerhouse’.

The controversial project will bring long-needed investment to neglected areas like Camden and Islington, and will finally provide residents with a transport link to central London.

Transport secretary Chris Grayling said: “With the new rail link, we will open up possibilities to them in Soho and Westminster that were previously impossible without taking the Northern Line.”

As part of the proposal, the government will invest several million pounds supporting North London’s traditional industries of funky vintage fashion boutiques and cheesemongers.

Joanna Kramer, from Highgate, said: “Too many people think the most northerly point in Britain is King’s Cross, when it’s actually Alexandra Palace.

“Thanks to the North London Powerhouse, I’ll finally be able to see the lights of the big city up close, rather than having to look down at them from my eighteenth-century hillside townhouse.”