Batman film actually about Batman

THE Dark Knight Rises is a film about a man dressed as a bat who drives a silly car, it has emerged.

Director Christopher Nolan’s latest epic has prompted intense speculation from critics searching for socio-political meaning behind the images of a man in a costume hitting people and running away from explosions.

The Guardian’s Tom Logan suggested that Batman’s batarang was symbolic of the means of production, which always returns to the hands of the bourgeousie. Meanwhile in America, right-wing commentator Rush Limbaugh believes gay socialist supervillain creators invented baddie Bane in 1993 on the off-chance that Mitt Romney would start a similar-sounding company years later, which would then look evil.

There has also been speculation about the film’s Nietzchean aspects. Film critic Nathan Muir said: “This film will see Batman coming to terms with the darkness in his soul, and going on a redemptive emotional  journey to the heart of his tortured psyche. While dressed in a bat costume.”

But the letters of Batman creator Bob Kane reveal that character was inspired simply by things that seemed cool at the time.

He wrote to his editor at DC Comics: “Had this idea for a character called Bat-Guy. He beats people up.”

The reply came: “Cool. Can he have a jazzy car that comes out of a cave?”

Kane wrote back: “Yes he can.”

Christopher Nolan said: “It’s up to the audience to make their own minds up. Is it a just superhero movie? Or is there something deeper?

“The way I’ve shot it, it’s pretty hard to make out what’s going on, which adds to the intrigue.”



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Imaginary Oxbridge is top university

THE imaginary Oxbridge that exists only in the heads of people obsessed with going there is the UK’s top-ranked university.

A new poll by the Institute for Studies found that the mythical amalgam of Oxford and Cambridge, which is like a more heterosexual version of Brideshead Revisited, ranked highest in terms of desirability and wish fulfillment.

Leeds University undergraduate Stephen Malley said: “I have no evidence for this, but you spend all day there drinking Pimms and shooting pheasants in the quad with Jeremy Irons.

“Then you probably go to a ball with your teddy bear and have sex with someone a bit like Emma Thompson in that episode of The Young Ones

Office manager Emma Bradford said: “If you go to Oxbridge you can have any job you want. You just say to the head of Oxbridge, ‘Can I be Prime Minister?’ and he says ‘Yes’.

“I’d never go to Oxbridge, though, even if I had any A-levels. You have to ride horses to lectures and I’m all allergic to animal hair.”

Cambridge admissions tutor Julian Cook said: “It’s time people stopped regurgitating outdated clichés about Oxford and Cambridge. My own college has not held naked fag races since 2009.

“We welcome applicants from all backgrounds, although it obviously does help if you’ve been to a hideously expensive private school to get the necessary superhuman levels of self-assurance.”