Britain to put more angry old Scotsmen on the radio

RADIO stations are to contact old Scottish men and get them confused and angry, live on air.

With 5 Live pundit Paddy Crerand hurtling towards a Bafta, stations are now making lists of elderly men in the Glasgow area and the things that get them all worked up.

Earlier today Bill MacKay, a retired plumber, was phoned by the Sound FM breakfast show and asked if he thought the fan that threw a coin at Rio Ferdinand was a racist.

He replied:  “Who said coins were racist? How many people said that two pence pieces are racist?”

His voice rising, he added: “Now hang on a wee minute, I asked you a question. How many people said two pence pieces were racist? You don’t know do you? Racist coins? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

A spokesman said: “We like to phone them just as they are waking up and are particularly furious and incoherent. It’s what radio was invented for.”

Meanwhile, Tom Logan, a 68 year-old former accountant, delighted BBC listeners by continually asking Radio Four’s Evan Davis what he meant by ‘in your day?’.

He added: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. In your day? In your day? How many people said ‘in your day’?”

Devoted fan, Emma Bradford, said: “I love listening to angry, confused old Scottish men on the way to work.

“I have a podcast of 18 them telling Gary Lineker to stop claiming that he played for Brazil.”


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X Factor ratings 'still pretty amazing when you consider what it is'

THE X Factor is doing rather brilliantly considering it is just pretty lights and a bit of singing, it has been claimed.

An ITV source said: “Much has been made of the show’s falling viewership, but there are still millions of people looking at the fucker every weekend.

“That’s pretty incredible when you think that it’s an hour of bright colours, karaoke and someone called Tulisa banging on about her ‘urban roots’.

The source said: “Research shows the audience really likes it when there are laser beams and the singer is standing on a box.”