THE makers of EastEnders are willing to incorporate any viewer suggestions, however absurd or immoral.
Producers are asking viewers to text in during the show with ideas for things they would like to see, irrespective of taste and decency.
Executive producer Denys Finch Hatton said: Nothing is off the table.
“If viewers want to see hardcore sex scenes between Kat and Alfie Moon, we’ll give it a go.
Having something bad happen to Ian Beale usually perks the ratings up, so perhaps youd like to see him get mangled in some machinery, or maybe tortured in a gimps dungeon like in Pulp Fiction?
Or maybe people would like to have a live interactive bingo game with cash prizes in the middle of each episode. I think that would be a natural fit with EastEnders viewers.
If all else fails, well sustain ratings by getting homeless people to watch in return for hot soup.
EastEnders viewer Wayne Hayes said: It’s thanks to me that a family of cybermen has moved into Albert Square.
“And my mate Ryan said the Vic should come under siege from dinosaurs and topless Amazonian warriors, so that’s in the Halloween special.”
Finch Hatton added: Obviously there are legal limitations on what we can do, so we cant have the Masood family possessed by the spirits of historical East End murderers then do actual crimes.
“Well maybe we could muster up some evil spirits, but the murder parts would need to be fake.