Eastenders to become first horror soap

THE new horror-themed trailer for EastEnders marks a permanent change of direction for the show, the BBC has announced.

The spooky trailer to promote a plotline about Lucy Beale’s murder also announces the programme being reimagined as the UK’s first cockney-themed ‘horror soap’.

Producer Denys Finch Hatton said: “EastEnders has always been about characters suffering in implausible ways, so it felt natural to chuck in some demonic possession and Pat Butcher returning as a poltergeist.

“Lucy Beale’s murder will finally be solved when Lucy, who is now a zombie, digs herself out of her grave to identify her killer and eat his – or her – brains.

“Meanwhile Ian Beale, who has already suffered beyond the limits of human tolerance, has been kidnapped by a deranged scientist who turns him into a ‘human mole-rat’, which is every bit as unpleasant as it sounds.

“The Carter family’s travails are far from over too, as Danny Dyer gets impregnated by the Devil in a scene reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby if Mia Farrow had a beard and was not good at acting.”

The new horror EastEnders will also feature a Twilight-style vampire/werewolf romance with cross-species sex between Dot Cotton and Phil Mitchell.

EastEnders fan Donna Sheridan said: “I can honestly say I did not see it coming when Max Branning had to cut off his possessed hand with a chainsaw.”