THE decision not to give Ed Sheeran a music award could be the dawning of a new age of human sanity, scientists have confirmed.
Researchers believe that Sheeran’s lack of Grammy nominations is a small but vital step in terms of evolutionary development that will steer humanity away from its recent course of absolute batshit craziness.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Much like a frog that stays in increasingly hot water until it is boiled alive, the world has become mental at such a slow pace that we have come to accept as normal that a bland munchkin such as Ed Sheeran could be an award-winning sex symbol.
“However, there are clearly some enlightened minds at the Grammy’s, as they have realised that lauding the person who inflicted Galway Girl on the world will only further stoke the fires of our collective lunacy.
“In a world that faces multiple, self-inflicted threats from ridiculous things that have somehow come to be acceptable, this is merely a drop in the ocean. But we must recognise these small victories as stepping stones to a less wackjob bananas global civilisation.
“Well done, humanity. You may yet save yourselves.”