End of music announced at Grammys

THE official end of music has been announced at the Grammy Awards.

At the close of the ceremony, a collective statement from record label bosses was issued confirming the music industry was being merged into advertising.

The bosses said: “There is no money in this shit any more, except for sponsorship from fizzy pop companies.

“In the past, singers and instrument-players have followed their own wayward agenda, with values that could be described as ‘artistic’. However we now realise that ‘artistic’ values often do not serve the core brand values of fizzy pop makers.

“So we declare the music industry officially over. Henceforth it will be known as ‘soundvertising’.

“Now here’s Beyonce with her soundvert, Drink More Fizzy Pop (It Tastes Nice).”