THOUSANDS of British families are celebrating Christmas by watching some girl-on-girl action.Bite that symbolic apple, baby
The shows, based on old German tales where aberrant sexual desire is thinly concealed by metaphor, let audiences pretend the dark, unknowable longings within us all are just a bit of fun.
Director Roy Hobbs said: The main character is a girl dressed as a boy, but a sexy boy in knee-high leather boots and fishnets.
Shes trying to win the heart of a girl in big flowery dresses and ample cleavage – one of those Barbie fetish types.
Theres a eunuch, usually played by a man emasculated by years of prime-time ITV.
And theres a grotesque parody of womanhood, played by a flamboyant homosexual, whose vanity and outlandish costumes reminds the audience that femininity is ridiculous and wrong.
The villains are evil, sexually predatory women over 40 who are humiliated and then robbed.
Dad Bill McKay said: I get to see an EastEnders actress grind up against the girl who does the traffic on the local radio.
Thats worth the kids wetting their beds for the next few months.