Thursday, 6th May 2021

Family Guy, and other TV shows that are somehow still f**king going

YOU watched it, you quit, you assumed it had been cancelled years ago but somehow that TV show’s still limping on. These five should be put out of their misery: 

The Walking Dead

Like the zombies that are still lurching from every dark corner despite a decade of zombie killers offing 60 a week, this shit refuses to lie down. There are even spin-offs, proving the zombie plague continues to spread. Soon every show will be infected and even Grand Designs will feature Kevin casually decapitating the undead with a spade.

Grey’s Anatomy

In its seventeenth series, this glam US Casualty is still bizarrely popular, despite the cast changing more frequently than a geriatric’s bedpan. Has been going so long that it was the show that made Snow Patrol popular, a time which few now living can remember.

The Simpsons

Once a tightly-scripted comedy with some of the best characters on telly, you were a child then. A child who only saw it when your mate lent you videos he’d done off Sky. Continues as a vehicle for celebrity guest stars and treatises on topics that trended on Twitter 18 months earlier.

The Handmaid’s Tale

As if one series of public hangings and dark-wood furniture wasn’t enough, greedy producers have jumped the shark by making Atwood’s resonant GCSE English favourite into an endless, doleful drama. Anyone still watching it is just into eye-gougings.

Family Guy

Mock if you like, but this woeful animation performs a valuable public service. If it weren’t for their desperate need to chuckle at every single one of the 200 pop culture references per episode it has instead of jokes, a generation of dads would be completely out of touch with the world. It’s their lifeline.