Kasabian and other bands who started well but went to shit

IT’S baffling how some bands are brilliant when they start out, only to rapidly descend into garbage. Like these prime examples…


Kasabian’s debut album was packed with banging tunes like ‘Club Foot’. Follow-up Empire was littered with more good stuff, so how did they end up churning out dirges like ‘Velociraptor’ less than a decade later? Copious amounts of coke probably didn’t help, along with booting out your wife-beating frontman, but maybe songs about dinosaurs are just a bad idea. ‘He’s gonna eat ya!’ Er, probably not.


Asleep in the Back was a masterpiece of dark, understated indie rock, but after a few years they morphed into commercial leviathans shitting out bland stadium-friendly anthems. ‘One Day Like This’ is their most famous song, but it’s so bland your mum sings along when it comes on the radio. Still, they were together for nearly 15 years before getting signed, so you can’t really blame them for cashing in. That’s a lot of depressing gigs attended by 11 people. 


Wales’ finest musical export – a dubious accolade – set the world alight as angry young lads from the Valleys on their 1997 debut Word Gets Around. Then just four years later they wrote the painfully pisspoor Just Enough Education to Perform. Nothing says ‘We’re rich and living in the States now’ more than songs with the word ‘nice’ in the title, eg. ‘Have a Nice Day’, and by Christmas there was that bloody awful ‘Handbags and Gladrags’ cover. Even the Welsh disown them these days.


Never before has such a pisstaking abundance of talent rotted to shit as dramatically as with these posh lads from rural Devon. Early releases Origin of Symmetry and Absolution were heavy rock genius, but by 2006 it had all gone tame and largely ignorable. Your girlfriend would still dump you to shag Matt Bellamy in a heartbeat though, which makes them even easier to despise.


Editors hail from Moseley in Birmingham, the same place as Ocean Colour Scene, so they were always likely to follow suit and turn to crap. Their debut album was fresh and exciting, but everything subsequently sounded exactly the same. Still releasing new material as recently as 2018 which nobody has ever heard. Look out for them playing a pub near you. Then don’t go.

Manic Street Preachers

The Manics flew out of the traps with Generation Terrorists and looked like they could rule the world, but by 1994 they were inflicting The Holy Bible on us and the only thing worse was reading the actual Holy Bible. Richey Edwards saw what was coming and did a bunk in 1995. ‘If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next’ was as much a warning about themselves as it was turgid rubbish in its own right.

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Five innocent everyday scenarios ruined by porn

DO you think every situation will result in you getting laid? You may be watching too much porn. Here are five harmless real world scenarios forever tainted by it.

Meeting your boss

Getting called over to your boss’s desk now conjures visions of one of you being bent over it and given a good seeing-to. Sadly it’s more likely to be a request to empty the paper recycling bin by the photocopiers. And the only oral you’ll receive is a warning for stealing biros.

Going for a hike 

Porn treats any walk in the great outdoors as an excuse for al fresco sex. So when your partner suggests a ramble you assume you’ll soon be at it doggystyle in a clearing, with a group of buff and large-breasted hikers joining in. Actually the most excitement will be a pub lunch, and the naughtiest thing you’ll do is not closing a gate properly. Phwoar!

Viewing a house 

Porn is very clear that all estate agents are raving sex addicts. Unfortunately if you’re expecting anyone to jump your bones in a crap-but-overpriced terraced house in Bolton you’ve got another think coming. The only semi you’re getting might be a semi-detached. If you can afford the deposit. Which you can’t. In fact, only thing thats getting damp today is every room in the house. Because it really is very poorly ventilated.

Being in a stepfamily 

If porn is to believed, 90 per cent of step relations are shagging. Stepmums knocking off stepsons. Stepsons walking in on stepsisters in the shower. In reality stepfamilies are more about awkward gatherings and simmering resentment over divorces. You get a few more birthday presents but you won’t be doing your stepmum. To which many stepsons will be saying ‘Thank f**k’.

Getting a massage 

Humiliatingly, it’s a sports massage you booked after pulling a muscle while emptying the cat litter. And that’ll be the only muscle being pulled. Still, hundreds of hours of pornography have tricked you into hoping things might get a bit saucy. You’ll still half expect a ‘happy ending’, which would be horrible when you’re paying a bloke with calloused hands to awkwardly rub you in a room above a high street bookie’s.