ONE of the UK’s biggest knobheads will today perform at one of the UK’s biggest concert venues.
Liam Gallagher is returning to Knebworth, the venue where he was crowned King of the Knobheads in 1996, for another legendary two-night run.
The UK’s number one rock star dick-measuring venue will see more than 200,000 fellow tools joining Liam so he can prove he is a bigger knobhead than his brother.
Owner Denys Finch Hatton said: “We began serving as a penis extension for leather-trousered men in the 1970s, when The Rolling Stones asserted their right to be the biggest cocks in Britain.
“Following that Robert Plant demanded to sling his schlong about in our Grade II listed park and gardens, and who was I to stop him?
“In 1996 it was Oasis waving their wangers at the nation, and in direct competition Robbie Williams decided only three nights could settle his constant nagging penile inadequacy. Cocaine impotence has made us a lot of money over the years.
“And now I see Liam’s back to settle a petty little score like he and his brother are still children fighting a willy war. What an absolute dick.”
Fan Tommy Logan said: “Is there anyone out there that’s as much of a cock as Liam Gallagher? No. In the great man’s words, let’s f**king have it.”
