Metallica and other bands that are way better as T-shirts

THEIR music is an acquired taste, but their faded logo kicks ass when worn with a light cardigan, pashmina or shawl. These bands should have stuck to merch: 


To teenagers, this give vibes of being into some crazy shit. Skulls, demons, snakes, weird shamanic stuff, spunk on a slide: perfect for the teen trying to establish an edgelord persona. Or they would be if your driving instructor didn’t also wear a Metallica T-shirt and the subsequent conversation hadn’t exposed your ignorance.

The Stone Roses

As a band, they had one good album and even that goes on a bit. The T‑shirts, however, are superb. Both the one with the lemon and the one with the Jackson Pollock‑ish drip painting are only spoiled only by their association with drunk middle-aged Mancunians wearing bucket hats bellowing I Am The Resurrection to the whole beer garden.

Led Zeppelin

The Hindenburg disaster was a horrific tragedy but also spectacular and a bit Nazi, so morally that balances and there’s no issue putting it on a T-shirt. But in lionising the transgressive, thrilling Led Zep we forget the band were so into Lord of the Rings they wrote multiple songs about it. Hobbits aren’t cool.


Very much a statement tee, the statement being ‘I am white and like hip hop’, but fair enough, people need to be warned. Eminem himself is well into middle-age, collaborating with Ed Sheeran, staying clean, an aging, jowly dad rapping Lose Yourself to festival audiences less enthusiastically than your dad rapping it on the school run.


How Kiss sound versus how they look is one of music’s greatest disappointments. The Kabuki make‑up, the Hellraiser costumes, the satanic imagery, the middle-of-the-road soft rock they actually produce. They’re Slade with a better art department.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood

T-shirts: still iconic. Band: what the f**k was that? Three moustachioed Scouse lads, two outrageous gay men, three singles all of which were massive hits to a frankly suspicious degree, then they vanish? Leaving only the contradictory instructions ‘Relax!’ and ‘War!’?

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Manager successfully delegates entire job

A TEAM manager is so efficient in his delegation he no longer has any hint of work to perform, he has admitted. 

Martin Bishop now delegates 100 per cent of his daily responsibilities including delegation itself, which is handled by his PA.

He said: “Nobody likes a micromanager who’s too hands-on and can’t trust his staff to do their jobs well. So I’m the exact opposite.

“I let them approach their jobs their way, in their own time, doing all the interfacing with clients and suppliers and regulators themselves, as long as they don’t bother me with it.

“My deputy does the meetings, my PA does the emails, I’ve got Janice doing sign-offs and Pete doing the Starbucks run. The entire office hums like a perfect machine that needs no managerial input whatsoever.

“I’ve been years getting here, developing my delegation skills. From fobbing off work at school to my assiduous employment of interns, I’ve clawed my way up. Only last year I was still doing my own expenses.”