Monday, 10th May 2021

Nation in mourning has definitely not been watching Netflix

THE whole of the UK has spent the weekend mourning, watching documentaries about the Duke of Edinburgh, and certainly not watching Netflix. 

The country spent 12 hours on Friday watching the BBC, caught every moment of the gun salutes on Saturday, saw the whole service from Canterbury Cathedral yesterday, and did not even consider streaming RuPaul’s Drag Race instead.

Tom Logan of Reading said: “What, the BBC coverage? Glued to it mate. Every minute.

“They couldn’t show the Boris speech, that one speech where the Queen was in a blue hat, and a title card of a short Palace press release enough for me. It would have been traitorous to turn away.

“Incidentally, that Bourne film where Matt Damon’s not in it, that’s bobbins isn’t it? They shouldn’t have bothered.”

Grace Wood-Morris, aged 25, said: “I had no idea this news blackout happened when a Royal died, but my dad said it was the same with Diana in 1997 and added ‘videos were like gold dust’.

“I have no idea what he meant by that. I only joined Disney Plus this weekend because my finger slipped.”