Thursday, 15th April 2021

Parents hoping child will develop moral compass from watching Disney films

A COUPLE are optimistic that watching Disney films will teach their daughter key life lessons they cannot be arsed to impart themselves.

Joanna and Stephen Malley committed to the plan after realising they would have more time to themselves if they left the real parenting to a talking candlestick and singing cartoon crab.

Joanna said: “I grew up on classic Disney and it hasn’t done me any harm. It made me determined to snag a handsome prince who lives in a castle. I ended up with Stephen and a semi in Luton, so it kind of worked.

“Molly has learned loads of useful stuff already. For example, Mulan taught her that to get respect and equal pay, you have to pretend to be a man.

“And The Little Mermaid demonstrated that the only way to get a boyfriend is to change absolutely everything about yourself.

“We’re avoiding Fantasia though. That’s clearly the kind of film that will get her into hardcore hallucinogenic drugs.”