ON long car trips the radio was a minefield of inappropriate songs that your dad simply would not tolerate. Here are five that would have you travelling in silence.
Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye
From the moment you heard those whispered ‘get up’s, you knew old Marvin was on thin ice. Your dad didn’t want to hear sex talk when he was concentrating on the road. If Marvin needed sexual healing he should have seen his GP.
My Ding-A-Ling by Chuck Berry
Your dad usually enjoyed a good novelty song, but a few verses in and it started to dawn on him that this was no ordinary tale of a child with a special toy. Such was his eagerness to switch off ‘that stupid song’ he accidentally put the windscreen wipers on.
The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang
After years of Radios 2 and 4, your request for your dad to switch to a less boring station was granted – and then that station was immediately banned forever, because the Bloodhound Gang had to write a song about doing it ‘like they do on the Discovery Channel’.
I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry
It came on the first time you gave your parents a lift somewhere. That’s that rite of passage ruined, thanks to your dad blurting out ‘Is she a LESBIAN?’ and spending the rest of the (silent) journey clearly thinking the world had gone ‘sex mad’.
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury and the Blockheads
The lyrics are kind of suggestive, but your dad’s main problem was the random bits of German. We didn’t fight the war for this and how on earth was he meant to decipher complicated German sentences like ‘Das is gut’? Off with Ian Dury and on with a CD he got free in the Mail.