Shit films better than good ones

SHIT films are far more enjoyable than actual good films, it has been confirmed.

Researchers found that award-winning films of undeniable quality, including Frost/Nixon and 12 Years A Slave, are far less watchable than anything starring Jason Statham.

A study proved that if subjects were restricted to either Lars von Trier’s acclaimed Breaking the Waves or Jean-Claude van Damme’s Hard Target for 12 months, they would watch the former once and the latter around 400 times.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Everyone knows this. Flick channels and see Citizen Kane, you keep flicking. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls? That’s you for the night.

“Unfortunately the human capacity to lie to ourselves means even the best of us claim to prefer tedious Oscar-winner The Hours to openly crap rom-com Friends With Benefits, even though that could not possibly be true.

“Interestingly the effect is reduced by time, which is why nobody bothers to pretend 1984’s Amadeus is better than Ghostbusters. Because it isn’t.”

Filmgoer Nathan Muir said: “Best film of 2017? Resident Evil: the Final Chapter, no contest. It’s fucking atrocious.”