COMEDY songs have never been funny. However they do prove that children are idiots who’ll laugh at anything, such as these annoying tunes that blighted the charts.
Benny Hill – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)
This innuendo-laden song was somehow a Christmas number one. Benny’s dodgy bumpkin accent was a hoot for kids, while the mild smut about ‘crumpets every night’ amused the primitive adults of the 1970s. David Cameron included it in his Desert Island Discs, as if further proof of its appeal to idiots was needed.
The Goodies – The Funky Gibbon
The incredibly popular surreal comedy trio could have come up with comedy gold, but Bill Oddie wrote The Funky Gibbon instead. It’s best described as a funk spoof for toddlers, with a singsong tune and animal noises. It led to yet another ‘wacky’ comedy song performance on Top of the Pops, and strangely got airplay across the pond, where they must have loved the shite American accents.
Chas & Dave – Rabbit
This Cockney knees-up rubbish came out in 1981 and has since been criticised for being sexist. Although ‘threatening’ might be more accurate, as ‘You won’t stop talking/ Why don’t you give it a rest?’ has a Nil By Mouth vibe to it. Luckily for Chas & Dave, most people could only remember the ultra-hilarious chorus, repeating the titular creature over and over at different speeds. It made the top ten.
Tenacious D – Tribute
Aside from the inexplicably popular ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, not many comedy bands achieve genuine star status. Fortunately Tenacious D had Jack Black to drag the husk along. The meta-pastiche of spoken word folk rock occult tales was lost on younger listeners, but they could laugh hysterically at Black’s stupid Satan voice. Avoids the contrived dick jokes of their lower-charting tracks, but it’s still not the best song in the world or particularly funny.
Amateur Transplants – London Underground
For young ’uns, this parody of The Jam’s classic was superb because it featured not only ‘bastard’ and ‘wanker’, but also the C-word. However as an adult it’s hard not to be taken aback by the rabidly anti-union lyrics. Turns out they were former Imperial College med students who also did a song taking the piss out of rival medical school St Barts. How we laughed.
Crazy Frog – Axel F
2005’s viral summer hit was an anthropomorphic, trouserless biker frog singing a ringtone version of the Beverly Hills Cop theme. Naturally this humour vacuum was a joy for little turds to imitate during every waking moment. But frankly what do you expect when the character is basically called ‘The Annoying Thing’?