THE creators of a tedious, badly designed computer game are hurriedly adding gratuitous sex and violence.He feels edgy now
It is hoped that sales of the generic sci-fi adventure Red Sector 9 will be boosted by deliberately controversial new elements such as dismembering space nuns with a laser chainsaw that has the phrase fuck off written on its blade.
Programmer Tom Logan said: Red Sector 9 – now retitled Red Sector 9: Violent Soldier – sucks, so were hoping people will buy it just to find out if you really do run amok with a flame thrower in a cattery.
We should also get some free publicity from the games extremely dodgy attitude toward female characters, who have immense breasts and get chained up a lot.
Some of our testers said the game feels a bit contrived now, but I think its entirely possible there could be a malevolent vagina floating around in space.
Daily Mail journalist Donna Sheridan said: I know nothing about computer games and hate doing research, so this is the perfect story for me.
Apparently you get points for spying on your own mum in the shower. Or maybe that was a dream I had last night. Either way, it is disgusting.”