Where's my invite? David Icke asks BBC

DAVID Icke has asked the BBC when he will be invited onto the corporation’s flagship political programme.

The former professional goalkeeper and sports presenter who now believes the Queen is a lizard, said he was keen to take part in a ‘civilised’ discussion with Andrew Neil and David Aaronovitch.

The 1980s Grandstand anchorman admitted he felt ‘very unloved’ after watching yesterday’s Sunday Politics interview with Alex Jones, the exploding toilet.

Icke, who claims he can ejaculate at least 1.4 million times a day, added: “I wouldn’t shout and talk over people.

“I would explain why the Duke of Kent is a space-werewolf and then I’d listen respectfully while David Aaronovitch puts forward his counter-argument.

“And if he asked me, ‘why haven’t they eaten you?’ I’d say, ‘to be perfectly honest David, I don’t know’.

“I certainly wouldn’t come out with a load of nonsense.”

He continued: “It’s important to be reasonable, even if the people you’re talking to are either giant lizards or the remote control slaves of the giant lizards.

“I’m not going to flip-out and start shouting ‘FREE US FROM THE LIZARDS!’ over and over again like some nutter until they’re forced to abandon the interview.”

A BBC spokesman said: “That is good to know. Seriously.”

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BBC newsreaders stalked by Queen for fifth time in a fortnight

TWO BBC newsreaders have claimed the Queen is following them.

Julian Worricker and Sophie Long said the Queen’s on-air appearance behind them yesterday was the latest incident in what they described as a ‘growing and unhealthy obsession’.

Worricker said: “Twice last week she was sitting in the lobby when I arrived for work. She just waved very slowly and stared at me until I got into the lift.”

Long added: “I was in the cereals aisle in Tesco and when I looked around there she was. She grabbed a box of Sugar Puffs and pretended to read the back of it.

“I said to her ‘it’s upside down’ but she just ignored me.”