Arts & Entertainment

AEROSMITH cancelled a tour due to 75-year-old Steve Tyler’s vocal cord problems. Are you noticing bands and their fans are increasingly old – and you might be one of them?

EVENTUALLY almost all musicians become unbearable, self-obsessed wankers. But with some you can chart the exact moment it happened. Here are six who took a one-way trip up their own anus.

PEOPLE see reality TV of the past and say: ‘They wouldn’t be allowed to make that now.’ Yes they would. They’d just pretend it was somehow helping people, so expect more shows like these.

THE first track from the Rolling Stones’ new album is competent, tuneful rock, but what about the rest of it? Here are some options for rating it when it's finally released in full.

A COUPLE spending their holiday at Disneyland despite not having any children have been officially verified as deranged.

A MAN has been tricked into watching a historical drama that is not even one of the good ones with heaving bosoms and period-accurate lesbian threesomes.

GUINNESS World Record holders are not glamorous heroes but generally weird freaks who live with their parents, it has emerged.

IT has dawned on a 34-year-old man that he is by far the most ancient and desperate person in a heaving night club.

TV execs think viewers want to immerse themselves in the lives of boring celebs, people with any sort of job, and outright weirdos. Here are some you could definitely live without.

EVER loved a song until you heard it being murdered by 10,000 pissed-up football fans? They’ve probably ruined these others for you too.