A MUGGER has told his victim that he simply needs to accept that he is poorer rather than furthering an inflationary spiral.
After demanding the contents of his victim’s wallet and iPhone 13, Jack Browne informed him that chasing recompense would only worsen the situation on the macro scale.
He explained: “You call the police. They give you a crime number. That’s another unsolved crime on their books, the stats look terrible, they’re hiring more bodies and you’re paying for it in tax. Yeah?
“Then you go running to your insurance. They might pay out but they’re bunging not just your premium up but everyone else’s. And topping up their profits as they go.
“Even rushing to cancel your cashcard has consequences. You’re sending me on a contactless runaround buying stuff I don’t even want, making pizza and trainer shops think their prices are sustainable long-term.
“So you need to face up, accept that this unfortunate consequence which was nobody’s fault has left you poorer, and f**k off now before I get annoyed. Alright?”
Victim Julian Cook said: “He certainly talked raw economic good sense.”
