TRADITIONAL village penis pill retailers are facing closure as customers desert them for online competitors.“Morning Geoff, how is your erection?”
Small, family-run shops have been providing their local communities with impotence aids for generations but, like many independent retailers, are being hit by the growth of online shopping giants.
Tom Logan of Logan & Sons, said: “The shop was a real hub for the community, and everyone would drop in to hear the latest about Reverend Bennetts erectile dysfunction.
“There wasnt a man whose penis I didnt know and Id feel so proud to see their children playing cricket on the green, knowing they’re only there because I revitalised some penises.
“But we now live in an age where every man has a junk mail folder stuffed with promises to ‘stun her with an enormous manhood’.
“What am I going to tell the Bangladeshi orphans who make penis pills in my basement?”
But customer Julian Cook said: “Tom knows my penis better than I know it myself.
“Maybe he should start selling pumps. That’s not the sort of thing I would buy on the internet. I would want someone to show me how it works.”