RETAIL staff have complained that contactless payment means they no longer get to stare intensely at customers while their card goes through.
Nikki Hollis, who works in a garage, said: “The only good bit about this job was messing with people’s heads in that seemingly endless few seconds between PIN entry and PIN acceptance.
“They would look at me, I would look at them, they would look at the floor.
“Sometimes they would say something about the weather, which I would ignore. Then they start to shuffle uneasily, at that moment they want nothing more in the world than to take their Ginster’s product and flee into the night.
“About a third of the time I would pretend something was wrong with the machine, just to make them do it again.
“The rest of this job is shit, but for those few seconds I was a minor god.”
A CBI spokesman said: “Soon your debit card will be a miniature drone which flies out of the window at night and makes aspirational purchases of Japanese denim and French horns.
“Look at your own payment history. Are you honestly saying we couldn’t spend it better?”