FACEBOOK users were celebrating last night after the social network abandoned its bid to copyright the mind-numbingly tedious details of your pointless life.
Founder Mark Zuckerberg reversed changes to the site's terms and conditions after spending just two hours reading a selection of users' entries.
He said: "It does just seem to be a lot of cat pictures, a smattering of furious extremists and some people who have taken time to tell the world that they're about to head off to the gym."
He added: "Rest assured, all content will remain the copyright of users. This of course means we will be cancelling talks with Paramount about making a Jim Carrey vehicle based on your Friends of Scrabulous night out in Watford."
The decision was welcomed by Nikki Hollis, founder of the online campaign group OMG!1! Facebook want to totally own us. WTF?!?!.
She said: "Everyone tells me I should make a film about all the random stuff I do and now it can happen. A guy I shagged last week works for E4 and said I could completely be a character on Skins."
A threatened boycott of the site never materialised. John Gage, an estate agent from Carlisle, said "I was going to delete my profile, but then realised I would have no other way to fill the cavernous gaps between fag breaks.
"Basically it's either Facebook or masturbating under my desk, and I'm not a young man anymore."
Meanwhile a spokesman for rival site Twitter confirmed all messages will remain the intellectual property of its users, adding: "Bizarre as it may seem, there's not a huge market out there for gobshite haikus."