Intern adds ‘procuring and distributing varied, challenging ice-cream order’ to CV

AN intern at a London office is turning her menial role bringing everyone ice-cream into proof that she is a dynamic self-starter. 

Francesca Johnson, who is being sent on six lolly runs a day, is hoping that her experience, suitably embroidered, will land her a graduate position with a blue-chip city firm.

She explained: “When I say ‘breaking down existing practice of working in silos to create greater sideways synergies’, that’s when I do lolly runs for two floors at once.

“‘Deploying social media to build brand profile’ is the Facebook account I set up for everyone to do their lolly requests on, and ‘disrupting established providers to create an unregulated marketplace’ is when I bribed security with Calippos to get rid of the ice-cream van.

“My favourite is ‘leveraged economies of scale to increase distributor margins by 250 per cent’. That’s when I got multipacks from Tesco and made myself an extra £80 a day.”

Recruitment agent Carolyn Ryan said: “This is impressive. Really impressive. Maybe we should take her on. I’m gasping for a Maxibon.”