Thursday, 13th May 2021

'It's like they don't want the work', says man who thinks builders are poor

A MAN is mystified that builders have not returned his calls because he assumes they live in skips wearing filthy overalls desperate for cash-in-hand. 

Roy Hobbs has been trying to secure a builder to take on an extension project at his house but is struggling to get anyone to commit, which is baffling because of the gulf in social class between him and them.

He said: “It’s not a big job, but a time like now you’d think they’d be hungry for anything. Instead they’re not even giving me quotes. I get the feeling a proper day’s work is the last thing they want.

“They’ve been here, they can see my solid oak furniture and Marantz turntable, they know I’m not short of a bob or two. The only explanation is they’re lazy.”

Wife Fiona said: “Roy believes that anyone working in skilled labour is one step from the poorhouse. He’s genuinely expecting to be thanked for giving someone born ‘without any other options’ work.

“He must never know the guy who runs the local fencing firm has a heated home swimming pool, and children at a school that makes them wear boaters in the summer term. It would kill him.”