Friday, 3rd July 2020

Queue outside Games Workshop reaches two meters

QUEUES outside branches of Games Workshop have reached the two-metre mark as pairs of desperate gamers wait to get inside. 

Since the wargaming shops reopened last week, an unprecedented footfall of pubescent loners has left shops feeling as besieged as a Space Marine Fortress-Monastery.

Manager Tom Logan said: “We usually only let one in at a time. Not because of the coronavirus, just because we’re not that popular.

“But look at them. You can tell by their hunched shoulders they’re desperate to stock up on Ork Stompas and Nurgling Green paint. I bet they’ve already counted out their birthday money in anticipation.

“And while tabletop wargamers are usually sticklers for measurements, social distancing will go out the window the second I open that door.

“I’m poised to call the police if things get ugly. It looks like they’ve both got their eyes on the limited edition Lumineth Realm-lords Army set and it’ll take a braver man than me to maintain order.”

Jack Browne, aged 14, said: “I don’t even know what a Warhammer is. Mum dropped me off outside with twenty quid. I saw her going into Ann Summers.”