Little Chef customers reject Blumenthal’s food made of clocks

LITTLE Chef has removed Heston Blumenthal dishes from its menu after realising that people did not want to eat minced clocks.

Too clocky

Too clocky

The roadside cafeteria chain said it would stick to pies, sausages and battered fish, accompanied by chips and beans, after customer feedback revealed a preference for food.

Martin Bishop, from Hatfield, said: “I’ve been driving for six hours and I would very much like to eat a pie – if that’s alright with everyone.

“I’m not a character from Shameless, I just want a pie.”

Helen Archer, from Doncaster, added: “I basically am a character from Shameless and I too would like a pie. But it’s not the pie’s fault. Don’t make this about the pie.”

A company spokesman said: “We were throwing away more than 2000 minced clocks a week. Not even homeless Scottish people wanted to eat them.

“Plus, unless you’re using those really expensive binbags, the bits of clock poke through the plastic and jab you in the leg.”

Blumenthal, who first dazzled restaurant critics with his inside-out boxing glove on a bed of remote controls, said: “I think people are a bit scared of new things. But minced clock is really just a metal version of coleslaw.”