Man paying builder cash-in-hand feels like Mafia don

A MIDDLE-CLASS man paying cash for building work feels as if he has joined the Mafia, he has confessed.

With a clampdown on cash-in-hand work threatened, Tom Logan was flattered and thrilled when builder Roy Hobbs drew him into the criminal underworld in an audacious law-flouting guttering scam.

Logan said: “Roy told me he could do a discount for cash because there’s less paperwork, but we both knew that was nothing but a cover. It’s because he has nothing but contempt for the law, like in Goodfellas. 

“The plan is for Roy to come over and fix our guttering that’s been leaking since last winter. Then Roy knocks off £50, I pay cash and no one needs to know anything about it.

“There’s no paper trail and the only victim is the government. If it all goes smoothly we might pull the same stunt again with patio doors.

“I hope this doesn’t end with me burning down my own shed for the insurance money. But I can’t go back now. No way I’m living the rest of my life as a schnook.”

Hobbs said: “It’s all going through the books, but say ‘cash-in-hand’ to these types and they think they’re getting a deal.”

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Queen paid less than Prince Philip

THE Queen earns 40 per cent less than Prince Philip despite being the British monarchy’s major draw, it has emerged. 

A Palace insider said: “Not only did she start on less than a quarter of George VI’s money, she didn’t even get a cut of the TV royalties for the coronation despite the ratings. 

“Philip apparently negotiated a better fee than her when he joined in the 40s and had a legacy clause that meant he was always paid more, though he told her their salaries were equal. 

“Even Andrew got more than her in the 80s when he was big in the tabloids, and he’s privately admitted he only married Fergie because the US networks made them a seven-figure offer, of which he got 75 per cent. 

“It’s an outrage that even though she’s in her 90s she has to keep working because she hasn’t been able to make enough to retire, while Philip’s at home watching the racing without a care in the world.”