Monster Munch put in UK inflation basket to shut kids up

A SIX-PACK of Monster Munch and two toffee fudge milkshakes have been added to the inflation basket to stop children whining. 

The Office of National Statistics, which compiles the basket as the basis for inflation rates, had said there would not be any treats because of bad behaviour but gave in somewhere around aisle 12.

A spokesman said: “When we’ve put coffee pods, a bottle of Bailey’s, a PlayStation game and an iPhone 6s in for ourselves, it seems tight not letting the kids have anything.

“We tried to explain that the basket was purely for the purposes of creating a statistical tool, but then they just had a meltdown by the crisps so we said fuck it.

“We lobbed in some Kinder Buenos too, not sure whether that might trigger another recession.”