THE story of Jesus’s birth now includes a large red lorry with corporate branding, it has been confirmed.
A Bible sponsorship deal means the three wise men now officially travelled to the stable of Christ’s birth in a heavily-branded lorry bearing gifts of Coke, Diet Coke and Coke Zero.
After infant Jesus and his parents have enjoyed several litres of soft drinks ‘and found the taste to be realer and more pleasing than all rival colas’, they get a lift back to Nazareth in the lorry.
The Bible describes how ‘the red truck did mow down scores of Herod’s men, and it was exciting, like something out of Mad Max’.
On reaching adulthood, Jesus tours the land in the crimson lorry, delivering sermons on Coca Cola’s brand values, handing out cans to beggars and turning water into Cherry Coke.
God later tests the faithful by sending down a plague of type 2 diabetes, and those who remain loyal to Coke are rewarded with a free concert from the angel Justin Bieber.