A WORLDWIDE pandemic paired with a global recession is no match for heroic rising British property prices, it has emerged.
While all other areas of society have been adversely affected by the pandemic, house prices in the UK have refused to cower against the virus and the ensuing economic collapse in an extraordinary vote of confidence in this nation’s can-do spirit.
Estate agent Francesca Johnson said: “It really is heartening to see that a novel virus that has devastated nations is powerless against a four-bed semi-detached on the outskirts of Stoke.
“The might of science has been outstripped by a windowless bedsit in London with great transport links to closed offices, fighting the good fight by being on the market for three-quarters of a million pounds.
“People have criticised the British government for ignoring all evidence, logic and reason. Well, that’s how the housing market’s behaved, and look at it f**king go.
“The pandemic isn’t over. But while your parents’ bungalow they bought in 1995 continues to be worth £620,000, we know we can win.”