THE animals formerly known as pigs have been legally compelled to change their name and appearance by supreme litigators Percy Pigs.
The case went to court after Percy Pigs, which had already shut down a gelato parlour, three rival sweet brands and a children’s puppeteer that week, discovered the millions of animals brazenly violating their established copyright.
A legal representative said: “Pigs, otherwise known as swine, hogs or sus domesticus, have 90 days to submit a new design which does not wantonly misuse the Percy likeness and brand.
“This is the cutthroat reality of children’s confectionery. There’s always someone trying it on, whether a five-year-old drawing stories issued a cease-and-desist order or a species of 784 million being farmed worldwide.
“The media paints Percy as the litigator, but we are very much the underdog. Enough is enough. Today’s the day we bring the trotters down.
“No one even wanted these ‘pigs’ before they took the name. And look at how they’ve reaped the rewards – cushy lives in factory farms, the general public palmed off with cheap imitations of the real thing that don’t even taste of strawberry.”
A spokesman for pigs said: “Call us after pork, ham or bacon instead. Since that’s all we’re good for to you f**king people.”