THERE is nothing like a woman kicking ass in the business world to make other women feel like failures. Begin the year with these pioneers:
The tenacious blonde
A wonderwoman next to whom you’re a dithering twat because, unlike you, she never gives up or compromises. Or sleeps. You too could have her life, if only you had the commitment to give up your entire life and never set foot outside the office ever again, loser.
The attractive brunette
This powerhouse’s multi-million business doesn’t have anything to do with sport – it’s some web payment bollocks – but she’s hopelessly toned to boot. When will you be able to show off your midriff in your LinkedIn profile picture? And when will you earn £20K?
The red-headed supermum
No podcasts for this mama and no nap time – this entrepreneurial winner pushed through all the obstacles and took her artisanal waffle business to the top with a baby on each tit and zero hours sleep. You’ve just had a repayment gas meter installed.
The short-haired one who beat the odds
Rose from absolutely shit-all to become top of a top, top company. You, with your stable parents and redbrick university and white privilege have only managed a middle management job at your old school, the one you swore you’d never set foot in again.
The feisty blue-haired one
Know how you always take no for an answer? No to a pay rise, no to your own office, no to a delineated space in the communal fridge. Well, if only you’d had the balls of this woman and dared to be feisty in spirit and hair, maybe you’d be driving a Bentley.
The slightly older one who had a dream
Telling you your dreams can come because hers did, which is like a lottery-winner saying ‘I won so you can too.’ Anyway, what about the people who don’t have any dreams? What about if you really wanted to be a designer, but gave up after half an afternoon of trying? You’re proof she’s full of crap. And yet she’s the one with the private jet.
