UK businesses ‘not positive enough’ about huge meteor heading towards London

INTERNATIONAL trade secretary Liam Fox has complained that UK businesses are ‘ignoring the opportunities’ offered by the meteor set to impact central London in 2019. 

Fox has told the business community and the media that they need to be more positive about the coming asteroid, which will replace the capital with an 180-mile diameter crater.

He continued: “Day after day I see the same moaning faces.

“‘What’s the point in investing in developments that will be atomised in less than two years, Mr Fox?’ ‘Won’t this badly affect Britain’s standing in the international community, Mr Fox?’ ‘Can the meteor not be stopped, Mr Fox?’

“And the BBC, my lord. If I see one more report that begins ‘Despite the meteor, it may be possible for small communities in the Outer Hebrides to survive,’ I swear I’ll write a letter.

“What about looking at the upside? What about the expected boom in traditional hunter-gatherer businesses? What about world-leading low-carbon economy we’ll achieve at a stroke?

“This asteroid has chosen to hit Britain. Not France, America or China. Britain. Is it only me who sees that as an extraordinary privilege? Is it just me who cannot wait?”